I want it sooo fuccking badly!!!! It has been my dream since i realize that to live with it is like a psychological torture. But i don't know if there an expert of the ear reconstruction surgery in Malaysia. If you read this and you from Malaysia and you know about the expert, please kindly send info to me so i can pursue my dream!!! There is nothing that i can hope more than to live and to act like a normal person. I don't have to avoid people anymore. I can be friend to anyone i want without being shame of myself. I can courts hot chick with full confidence XD.
But this can be hard if can't find any job that can support the expenses of the surgery and my dream will crushed because of that. And due to my psychological problem, it's hardly for me to get good grades and get good job. It is obvious if i recall my learning history. I'd alway had a good grades during high school preliminary school, but when it come to a higher level which require communication and soft skill, i suck at it. I've tried to follow but it's hard. It makes me feel want to die, but committing suicide only shows that you prefer hell than reality.
Huhhh... i wish there is a magic lamp and genie. The first wish that i will tell him is that i want to have a pair of normals ears. Then the second wish is to turn every people with disabilities into a normal person cause i understand what they are going through. Then the third wish is to granted be with a genius brain so i can be a badass genius bastard!! =P...
When i was little, many kids look at me differently and i felt like my heart was slashed by a burning broadsword, or being penetrate by a bullet commonly used in a long range military sniper. and imagine i was about the age of 9 or 11 at that time. After that, i 'm starting to ignore all of that and thanks to my friends that was never questioned or neglected/ignore or "unfriend" me regarding my defect.. But as you getting older, you started to having those pressure again because as a teenager, image is sometimes really important in order to get confidence especially when you try to socialize with people... Dammit......
So, moral of the story is, for normal people that don't appreciate their live, start to think how fortunate you are than some people. For people like us, we try to live to the fullest and i don't understand for some people takes their own life just because their girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with them. That is just an act of idiocy. What the hell. You just make the devil happy because he got a new slave in hell.
OMG, i'm so relieved after letting it out. Guess this blog-therapy work. Ok, end of story. See you all in the next post. Have a nice life!
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