4:Music for the soul

Music is the most wonderful thing that ever exist in this world. It also the most magical thing that can penetrate through someone heart and soul. I'm so obsessed with music. If i have a chance, i want to learn everything about music as much as i can and produce some song.  

I prefer rock and metal kind of music but i also can accept a catchy songs. The worst kind of music for me is like 50 cent kind of song.. It just crap. These guys only have talent in making stupid lyric. And still people go buying there songs.It's not that i hate hip hop, not all of them are bad.It's just most of them like to brag about money and women and that just piss me off. Some rap artist are talent such as Eminem. He is good in making lyric and even put some melody in his rapping.

I also love some classic and old song..They have the most beautiful melody and it is very soothing to listen to it. It also have a meaningful lyric attached to it.

My dream job is to be a musician or maybe a music teacher. To be a star might be to much because i hate popularity. I prefer a simple and peaceful life without people keep bothering to write something about your life. Maybe a songwriter would be okay.

I wish i had chose major in music instead of this crappy thing that i study right now. Argghh... It's too late now... I'll just have to endure it or die.. Whatever...

Oh yeah, i remember when i still about 7 years old, my father introduce me to Scorpion. That is the first rock band i'd listen and listen nowadays. And when i was about 11 years old, i started to listen to korn and slipknot. Not to forget the King of grunge Nirvana.

Ok, that's all... I have no idea what to write anymore... Bub bye... =)

3:Dream of a lifetime - Ear Reconstruction Surgery

I want it sooo fuccking badly!!!! It has been my dream since i realize that to live with it is like a psychological torture. But i don't know if there an expert of the ear reconstruction surgery in Malaysia. If you read this and you from Malaysia and you know about the expert, please kindly send info to me so i can pursue my dream!!! There is nothing that i can hope more than to live and to act like a normal person. I don't have to avoid people anymore. I can be friend to anyone i want without being shame of myself. I can courts hot chick with full  confidence XD. 

But this can be hard if can't find any job that can support the expenses of the surgery and my dream will crushed because of that. And due to my psychological problem, it's hardly for me to get good grades and get good job. It is obvious if i recall my learning history. I'd alway had a good grades during high school preliminary school, but when it come to a higher level which require communication and soft skill, i suck at it. I've tried to follow but it's hard. It makes me feel want to die, but committing suicide only shows that you prefer hell than reality.

Huhhh... i wish there is a magic lamp and genie. The first wish that i will tell him is that i want to have a pair of normals ears. Then the second wish is to turn every people with disabilities into a normal person cause i understand what they are going through. Then the third wish is to granted be with a genius brain so i can be a badass genius bastard!! =P...

When i was little, many kids look at me differently and i felt like my heart was slashed by a burning broadsword, or being penetrate by a bullet commonly used in a long range military sniper. and imagine i was about the age of 9 or 11 at that time. After that, i 'm starting to ignore all of that and thanks to my friends that was never questioned or neglected/ignore or "unfriend" me regarding my defect.. But as you getting older, you started to having those pressure again because as a teenager, image is sometimes really important in order to get confidence especially when you try to socialize with people... Dammit......

So, moral of the story is, for normal people that don't appreciate their live, start to think how fortunate you are than some people. For people like us, we try to live to the fullest and i don't understand for some people takes their own life just because their girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with them. That is just an act of idiocy. What the hell. You just make the devil happy because he got a new slave in hell.

OMG, i'm so relieved after letting it out. Guess this blog-therapy work. Ok, end of story.  See you all in the next post. Have a nice life!

2:About the author

What a lame title.. Is this a textbook or something? Anyway..  i'm gonna briefly introduce myself in this second post. My best friends usually call me Gin. I'm a guy and a Malaysian,was born in Sarawak, currently study in KL and bla.... bla... bla.....boring....


Ok, basically i have a normal student life. Have a loving family. Live almost far from my home but surrounded by cool friends... So why do i write things about myself? sound narcissist~~


Well, maybe there's one thing that make me slightly different from most people. Based on study(What is this?), i'm 1 out of about 8,000–10,000 births that are affected with microtia, some sort of  congenital deformity where the pinna (outer ear) is very small and underdeveloped (microtia) (taken from wikipedia). Well in my case, it affected on my left ear.

Sorry if you see this as inappropriate. Just for educational purpose.

Some of you may think that it's not a big deal, you still can walk, run, pick up something.. basically you can live like a normal people. Yes, of course it is. But most people did not realize about us is that,in my case is low self esteem, lack of self confidence, makes me become a very quiet person. and sometimes totally afraid to talk to someone that you are not close to especially older people. But the worse part is the feeling of how inferior you are compare with normal people.


Enough about that damn microtia.... Probably you'll be bored by now.  Have i tell you that i study about ecology and biodiversity? And do you even heard about that course? To make it simple, i study about about how nature work and mostly involve the interaction of animals, plants and the surrounding and bla.. bla... bla.. boring... I like nature a lot, and if i have the chance, i want to travel around the world to see various kind of natural scenery. I love a peaceful view and not merry place like vegas....


 But however, things i want to do more than studying nature is music and art. I love music so much and i love art like painting and drawing equally. So basically, i'm an art- orientated. Note: The background of my blog done by me by sketching using microsoft paint.I don't know if i can do like that anymore. My hands are rusted already.

I'm more into rock and metal music but any catchy music is fine with me... Well, to be a good musician we have to listen to various kind of songs. And oh yeah, currently the only instrument that i play is guitar. Looking forward to learn piano and drum though. And singing.... errr.. yeah, i like to sing too but i'm not gifted with angelic voice or something. i''d also participated in a band and acoustic competition which is hosted by my university, won some award and even get the first place last year, so not bad (being narcissist again).

I love simple thing, simple cloth, simple food and simple life. I wish everything that happen in this world is simple... Like we usually seen in family movie or fairy tale. Even fairy tale is not that simple except for absolute happily ever after. I wonder is there any simple job that i can do to earn a living?

So brief is it? or not.... Yeah,and maybe too much unnecessary information. That is a little bit about myself. Hope you're not bored, not until you finish reading this post. I'm not expecting you to read though.... Have a nice day =)

1: The beginning

Ok, so this is my first time blogging and i just want to put a simple post . I don't know why i'm want to do blog in  the first place. Just so you know, i'm not even going to share this to my friend because from now onward, every post that i write will be something that i don't want them to know, something or feeling that i kept to myself my whole entire life, not even with my family.  ... It's just thoughts that i had and will have which i want to share to people who don't know me.

Well, actually i don't expect anyone will read my blog... Consider this as my open diary although i never wrote one. I'm a secretive kind of person especially to someone that i close to.. I don't know, maybe the feeling that i don't want them to worry about me or pity of me. This maybe sounds like i'm one of the emo kids, but everybody got their own problem which need to share.( Don't worry, i'm not going to post every of my sad story in this blog). It's not like my life is super miserable or something. Just a little incomplete.

Maybe by blogging, it can be some sort of therapy for me to let out everything that need to be let out so i can survive in this hard cruel world (maybe too exaggerated) So, for those who will accidentally bump into this blog and might be read this post, i welcome you with a warm heart. enjoy~ yeah, although there is nothing to write on yet.. Btw, enjoy ur day and blog-walking perhaps =)